As far back as I can remember, I have struggled with overeating. Food has always been a source of comfort, joy, entertainment, anxiety reliever, etc., etc. I am tired of it. I am tired of the struggle. I have given this over to God again and again and yet here I am overweight and unhappy about it and scared of losing weight, too. I am afraid it is going to be too hard and that I am going to give up and continue this downward plunge to obesity. I am afraid of failure and rejection and humiliation. I am afraid---of my own shadow, apparently. Here I am hungry after I have already eaten. I shouldn't be hungry and I shouldn't want to eat, but I do. WHY?????????? Why have I chosen food to make me feel better, when in the long run it doesn't make me feel better and I beat up myself and find it difficult to go to the Lord.Help me, GOD!!!! Please deliver me as You delivered Your people from the bondage of the Egyptians and Babylonians. I am willing to do whatever it takes to be close to You. Please help me to find joy in my relationship with You. Somewhere along the way I have lost that delight in You. Restore to me the joy of Thy Salvation, renew a steadfast spirit within me and lead me in the way of everlasting for Your name's sake. Keep me as the apple of Your eye. Hold me close and allow me the privilege and protection of abiding in Your holy shadow. Thank You, Lord for what You are about to do in me. I am grateful for Your deliverance, for Your guidance, for Your presence and for Your love. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen and Amen.
Okay, it's time to face the music---among other cliches. I am really tired of cliches. I not only feel as if I need to lose weight for my health, I want to lose weight so that my appearance will please me. I don't like looking in the mirror. I don't enjoy trying on clothing. I don't enjoy much of anything about life and that is a SIN! Why is food so important to me? I have several theories but I will not list them here for public viewing. I am asking the Lord to show me why I feel so attached to food. I am constantly thinking about it; trying to control it; trying to make it taste better; trying to make it please me and satisfy me, when it doesn't really have any power at all except what power I have given to it. Sort of like programming a computer. I am the one giving the food it's value. Food is for nourishment as well as enjoyment but I have gone way past the enjoyment to I would say, addiction. This must be what a meth addict feels like or a crack head. God forgive me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I do want to eat healthy foods, but I also would like to have foods that please my taste buds, too, or maybe that please my heart, the root of my desires. However, food is not the answer to my problems, to my yearnings, to my sorrows, to my emptiness, loneliness, confusion or despair. Jesus Christ is the answer to all of these things, even to my hunger pangs. I will begin tomorrow as it is late and I have already eaten today. I ate a sensible lunch, no breakfast; 2 bowls of ice cream and then some cheese dip and chips. I drank three diet sprites. Tomorrow is a new day. I will eat to please Jesus and not myself.I need the Holy Spirit. I have done things my way for far too long and my ways are not working nor helping me at all. I need Jesus more than I need food or drink, more than the air I breathe and more than the clothing on my back and shoes on my feet and roof over my head. I need Jesus.
