Feeling Tired and Stressed!

As far back as I can remember, I have struggled with overeating. Food has always been a source of comfort, joy, entertainment, anxiety reliever, etc., etc. I am tired of it. I am tired of the struggle. I have given this over to God again and again and yet here I am overweight and unhappy about it and scared of losing weight, too. I am afraid it is going to be too hard and that I am going to give up and continue this downward plunge to obesity. I am afraid of failure and rejection and humiliation. I am afraid---of my own shadow, apparently. Here I am hungry after I have already eaten. I shouldn't be hungry and I shouldn't want to eat, but I do. WHY?????????? Why have I chosen food to make me feel better, when in the long run it doesn't make me feel better and I beat up myself and find it difficult to go to the Lord.

Help me, GOD!!!! Please deliver me as You delivered Your people from the bondage of the Egyptians and Babylonians. I am willing to do whatever it takes to be close to You. Please help me to find joy in my relationship with You. Somewhere along the way I have lost that delight in You. Restore to me the joy of Thy Salvation, renew a steadfast spirit within me and lead me in the way of everlasting for Your name's sake. Keep me as the apple of Your eye. Hold me close and allow me the privilege and protection of abiding in Your holy shadow. Thank You, Lord for what You are about to do in me. I am grateful for Your deliverance, for Your guidance, for Your presence and for Your love. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen and Amen.